Howie's Sweetheart wrote:
oh, and there was some sad fanfics I read of howie..... really sad and tear jerking too. I still can't get over one of them that at the end, Howie lost the will to live because being teased and never really paid attention to, and howie thought no one cared about him... not even the guys, his brothers and he exploded at AJ at one point saying if he were half the friend he said he was he would have been there for him, then as i was saying at the end it said Howie only made it just outside his bedroom door before he collapsed and just laid there, crying his heart and soul out from the hell he was put through and he had cried until the point of exaustion and when AJ found him, Howie was taking his last breaths... and he had thought of the song "In the Arms of An angel" by Sarah Mclaughlin just before he took his last breath in AJ's arms and told him to let him die cause he did'nt care. It did'nt say if he took any pills or did anything to .... you know and well... after reading that, i've had this feeling inside me... this feeling, it tears me apart that someone could write something like that. it already hurts me when howie is upset or hurt or sad for real... that story just.... made me feel so much worse, i can't even imagine him being as upset as he was in that fanfic without getting all teary and it feels like my heart was ripped out as his was in the story. I asked my bff/sis if she could make me a video of how using the song "In the Arms of An angel" because it made think, it means I'll always be there for you no matter what, you can count on me, but after reading that story, i don't know if i could handle hearing that song. i have'nt been able to stop thinking about it and that feeling has been there ever since.


100 Kisses, 100 Hugs, & 100 Cookies! ;-)


P.S. 100 Winks!
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I just read that tonight and and few others where he died and/or tried to and i've been crying all night. WTH lol i don't like howie dying :-( or any of them. Need some raunchy stories now. Chaotic Bliss has good ones ;-)

Hi! I'm writtin' in this moment a beautiful story about him 'n the rest of the guys, I have a lot of this but there's a problem... All are in spanish hehe... Sorry

God Bless U
Mon'